Week 18 is almost what my topic implies . This week has been littered with a bunch of pushbacks from my old nemesis, (drumroll…) my old blueprint. Yeah these moments of denial reminds of this show that used to come on TV that was called What’s My Line? For anyone whose not familiar with this program, it featured three participants who would come out on stage and would take their seats. What you would hear and see next was the announcer giving a brief description of what the real person out of these 3 people actually did for a living. Each participant introduced themselves with the same name. The audience had to figure out which of these 3 people were the real person that the announcer was alluding to. At the end of the show the real person had to stand up. I thought about all of this pushback I started to encounter and bam, this show came to mind. As the new new blueprint is taking hold in subby, the old one seems to wants to cling to the last vestiges of power and domination. It doesn’t help also that living here in New York with Covid -19 is very real and has become a sobering reality. Can’t go anywhere, and I feel like there’s only so many things you can do differently everyday before boredom sets in along with feeling a bit frustrated that a part of my freedom has been taken away. It can also be a point of weakness and vulnerability. Trying to make up an excuse for moving backwards instead of forwards. So I’ve been taking the initiative to dig in harder with applying a new consciousness and reality everyday. Making every thought, idea, action, a normal thing to do. What I do notice and like is how I’m able to stay focused on the task at hand, which is evolving into the new me. I feel myself still clinging on to what I know, but now it’s only for a few moments as I clearly understand exactly wants happening: my withdrawal symptoms. I actually reprimand myself in a good and positive way to keep it movin’, keep the momentum flowing . I realize that I’m going through the natural stage of grief, and that it’s disguising itself as denial. In realty I’m at a point of that Threshold in My Heroes ‘Journey. My music studies are coming along great due to my daily sits, and I’m on the precipice of experiencing huge strides in my involvement in my Internet business. By taking at least 30 minutes daily of thinking about the person I intend to become, my vision and faith are becoming clearer and clearer. It just seems that everything I choose to do is the right thing, and what I should be doing. The only thing that can put a monkey wrench in everything is me. You know, the funny thing is that I really believe what I’m saying. I really can’t get that feeling out of my mind the fact of being kind to myself and others is one of the keys to my success. It’s sticking to me like glue. This week I choose courage as my virtue to observe. I see it so much in myself and others. What I’m choosing to accomplish and become is a mountain not a grain of sand. The Old me whom I thought was my Authentic self looks at all this desire and taking charge of this ship as a daunting task. Then there’s the other me that wants to say, ‘THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH, TAKE A BREAK”. I realize that this is a pivotal point of success or failure. I wanted adventure, now I got it. I’m observing the slight reluctance to keep on track, but I’m dealing with this now than later. The real authentic me is standing up amongst the imposters of myself making the claim, I’m Whole, Perfect, Powerful, Strong, Loving, Harmonious, and Happy.

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